Monday, November 19, 2018

Exterminators in Paradise (Notes from the GZ)

I took these photos for British friends, who got a huge kick out of these "bug mobiles". "Oh, my, it's so outrageously American!". Yes, yes it is. Enjoy.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Notes from the Geriatric Ward 2

So we swim at the neighborhood pool every day, where the retirement community radio station is piped in.Do you remember the sound of that AM radio in your old 1950's chevy, when the car is out of the station reception area? Yeah, it's just like that, you know, a bad nostalgia trip.

So, anyhoo, husband, who makes it his business to know every local official, mentioned the problem to our district rep. The rep helpfully said he'd send it up (or down?) the chain to get it fixed.

Fast forward several days. We are back at the pool. Fellow swimmer complains about how LOUD the radio is playing.

What?? Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop laughing. Neither could husband.

It turns out they assumed that the problem was that the complainer must be hearing impaired (good assumption in a 'hood where most of the residents are over 75), and the solution was to turn up the volume!

So now we get to listen to bad radio reception at a higher volume.

It turns out nobody was complaining before we arrived because half the crowd couldn't hear it anyway.

This is all husband's fault. I'm holding him accountable for fixing it.

Notes from the Geriatric Zone

We've made our annual migration to the retirement community (Florida). Life here is different, and we try to see the humor in it all. I hope you will, too.

The Grocery Store (yes, Publix)

Today I approached the checkout lane, carefully counting the items in my basket. Ten. Yippeee. Express lane qualified! Blue-haired elderly lady ahead of me had one item: a large onion, the largest I'd ever seen. "This will be fast," I thought.

Wrong.

The cashier weighed that onion and called out "3.40".

"What? The sign said five for a dollar!"

At this point the front end manager, who had overheard her shriek, approached. He said, "Ma'am, we've always sold onions by weight."

"It said five for a dollar! That's twenty cents each!"

Front end manager: "I'll check".

We all waited while he walked to produce section. He came back and said, "you read the sign for the avocados next to the onions. They are five for a dollar."

I'm scared. This is my future. Don't get old, kiddies.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Russia Still Loves My Blog

As usual, I got as many hits from Russia as I did from US this past month. Mueller, are you looking at this stuff?

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Education of a Nation

Here’s a sad fact: Most Americans don’t know the definition of the word “oligarch”.

Lookups of the definition are trending very high on Google right now.

I'm pretty sure most Americans do understand the meaning of the word “bribe”.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

When Praying Doesn't Work

Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., called it "that terrible day you pray never comes."

Mr. Rubio, in case you hadn't noticed, praying isn't working.

Could it be time to try another approach?

Just sayin' . . .