Exterminators in Paradise (Notes from the GZ)

I took these photos for British friends, who got a huge kick out of these "bug mobiles". "Oh, my, it's so outrageously American!". Yes, yes it is. Enjoy.

Notes from the Geriatric Ward 2

So we swim at the neighborhood pool every day, where the retirement community radio station is piped in.Do you remember the sound of that AM radio in your old 1950's chevy, when the car is out of the station reception area? Yeah, it's just like that, you know, a bad nostalgia trip.

So, anyhoo, husband, who makes it his business to know every local official, mentioned the problem to our district rep. The rep helpfully said he'd send it up (or down?) the chain to get it fixed.

Fast forward several days. We are back at the pool. Fellow swimmer complains about how LOUD the radio is playing.

What?? Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop laughing. Neither could husband.

It turns out they assumed that the problem was that the complainer must be hearing impaired (good assumption in a 'hood where most of the residents are over 75), and the solution was to turn up the volume!

So now we get to listen to bad radio reception at a higher volume.

It turns out nobody was complaining before we arrived because half the crowd couldn't hear it anyway.

This is all husband's fault. I'm holding him accountable for fixing it.

Notes from the Geriatric Zone

We've made our annual migration to the retirement community (Florida). Life here is different, and we try to see the humor in it all. I hope you will, too.

The Grocery Store (yes, Publix)

Today I approached the checkout lane, carefully counting the items in my basket. Ten. Yippeee. Express lane qualified! Blue-haired elderly lady ahead of me had one item: a large onion, the largest I'd ever seen. "This will be fast," I thought.

Wrong.

The cashier weighed that onion and called out "3.40".

"What? The sign said five for a dollar!"

At this point the front end manager, who had overheard her shriek, approached. He said, "Ma'am, we've always sold onions by weight."

"It said five for a dollar! That's twenty cents each!"

Front end manager: "I'll check".

We all waited while he walked to produce section. He came back and said, "you read the sign for the avocados next to the onions. They are five for a dollar."

I'm scared. This is my future. Don't get old, kiddies.

Russia Still Loves My Blog

As usual, I got as many hits from Russia as I did from US this past month. Mueller, are you looking at this stuff?

The Education of a Nation

Here’s a sad fact: Most Americans don’t know the definition of the word “oligarch”.

Lookups of the definition are trending very high on Google right now.

I'm pretty sure most Americans do understand the meaning of the word “bribe”.

When Praying Doesn't Work

Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., called it "that terrible day you pray never comes."

Mr. Rubio, in case you hadn't noticed, praying isn't working.

Could it be time to try another approach?

Just sayin' . . .

Save the Rich

Who is the shithole?

Trump has officially torn every shred of dignity and humanity from that office.

Yesterday in Charlottesville

Is this fake news?

Death Panels 2.0

Cheap bare bones coverage.

Are we winning yet?

Getting rid of the death panels by denying coverage. Genius!

The plan under consideration is so much easier. No actual panels involved.

We don't need no stinkin' Paris Agreement

Are we great yet?

The people prayed to God for help. He sent them scientists. The GOP said f*ck that.

Purple Threat

There are so many threats out there right now, but husband alerted me to an important family historical threat that dates back to Halloween, 1975. This gem is from his father's journal:

October 31, 1975

We had, I think, only two groups of youngsters come by, trick or treating, but three groups who were on a scavenger hunt. I couldn’t help, but Arlene did give some purple threat to one group.

Note: Arlene was his wife. I can imagine her issuing that purple threat in her best, most eloquent prose.

Russians are baaaack

My audience stats from the past several days show that Russians love me. I have 5 times as many hits from Russia as I do from the US (#2 geographic hits).

Hey Putin, buy my books! You could use a good romance instead of the bromance . . .

Nobody Dies Because They Don't Have Access to Health Care

Democratic attack ads are writing themselves. Republican Congressional Rep. Labrador addressing his constituents.

Best signs at any march . . . ever

Scientists have to be the most creative people.

March for Science

I was in DC today to support science and evidence-based policy making. Here are some of my favorite signs.

They had seven years to design a new healthcare plan

The best they could design was a plan to make sure the wealthiest pay a bit less in taxes, while 24 million citizens lose access to healthcare, and older lower and middle class Americans pay much higher rates.

Epic fail.

Bugs Bunny, Scott Pruitt, and the Laws of Physics

Climate change researchers have pointed out that, "just as there is no escaping gravity when one steps off a cliff, there is no escaping the warming that follows when we add extra carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases to the atmosphere."

Yet Pruitt continues to refute physical laws of science. Why? I believe he subscribes to the "Bugs Bunny Alternative Facts", part of the vast Bugs Bunny Conspiracy. You know what this is -- the education we all received from cartoons, that tells us that gravity is only real if you acknowledge it (you can run off a cliff and keep running until you look down, for example). Here's a video that debunks Bugs Bunny's laws of physics. I recommend it as required viewing for members of the Trump administration.

Actions have consequences

Just the beginning.